There is a calm in the air. It could be a deep sigh of relief that the holiday rush is over. I hope you made it through awkward dinner conversations and screaming matches. Survived parking lot battles with other erratic drivers, made it through long lines at Target and pushed through all the traffic.

Just like that, it has come and gone. And now there is this standstill with only a few days left in the year.

The last few days of the year remind me of being on the dance floor and not knowing what to do with my hands. To this day, I still don't know what to do with them.

It is an awkward period in time, much like me dancing.

And during this time, I've been sifting through past experiences. Not intentionally, but I catch myself echoing through moments like a silent movie. Sometimes I mumble to myself; things I should have said or shouldn't have. So, naturally, I become more reserved, quiet, and aloof.

So, I'll do what I do best! And that's clinging to movement, being alone, journaling, and meditating on these experiences.

2022 has been full of meaningful moments! This cabrona's cowbell has been ringing all year (I think one bicep might be bigger than the other, oops). These moments include my struggles, fears, highs, wins, and lows. Here are just a few that have been on my corazón. Welcome to my brain.

In February, I launched La Dirección, a vision to get more women running trails by creating a comunidad of trail cabronas. I became a coach with a mission to connect, guide, equip, and teach. It sounds so smooth on paper, but I was TERRIFIED! I second-guessed myself many times (I still do) and questioned my ability to run a business and be a good coach. I wanted to quit many times throughout this year. But! (I need more cowbell!) I learned to trust myself and my journey, notably through the unknown.

In April, I attended my first "Born To Run" event, IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME. I laughed, cried, and rang my cowbell. This event was like a warm hug. I'll admit this was the first time I felt a part of the ultra community. I felt free; no one cared about how fast or slow I ran. Or what place I finished. It was just about connecting with like-minded spirited people who found meaning through movement and much more. My girl Steph ran 200 miles, and Vima earned her first 100-mile buckle. Also, my partner! He ran his first 10 miles (ever) and crossed the finish line to his first trail race.

Early summer, I busted my knee. I fell into a glass firepit and debated with my partner if I should go to urgent care. I was in denial and kept metaphorically kicking myself for not paying attention (I am still made fun of because of this). I was upset that this would derail my training (it didn't). I learned "Every setback has a comeback," and chasing a goal is never (EVER) perfect. So what's an adventure without a bit of drama? Pursuing a goal gets messy, but we will almost always learn something new about ourselves in this mess - resilience, patience, and the comebacks are always much sweeter.

I ended up going to urgent care & the NP applauded my wound care.

Training for Kodiak 100 miler was such an honor. My journey had its physical challenges, but that's not what sticks out the most. This adventure opened avenues for new friendships, intimate conversations, and growth. This journey openly shifted my belief with my constant struggle with self-worth. The moment which particularly stands out is at mile 55. I won't recount the whole story. Instead, you can go back and read the blog. At mile 55, I was sick and useless, but I felt safe. I trusted the people around me and was able to let my walls down. I was openly receiving love and was worthy of receiving it. So I crossed the finish line transformed and a vision of little Melissa there to celebrate with me.

Friendships- I have made admirable connections on the dirt—these friends whom I consider my tribe - my family. But this year, I had to muster the courage to let go of the ones that didn't align with who I am. I had to let go of the relationships that did not honor my values and broke my trust. I let go of the relationships that veered in a different path I could not support. And I prayed for forgiveness from my past friends and wished them well. I am not one for conflict and was initially intimidated to speak my truth. But I want to continue aligning with a tribe on the higher path. In other words, I am at an age where I don't have time for bullshit.

Lastly, time is a precious gift. And choosing where to invest is valuable to your mental health, spiritual wellness, and growth. At least for me. Choosing where my time should go came with sacrifices; time away from home, missing non-running friend's parties, quality time with my partner, and not visiting with my mom as often as I should. Yes, that stings. I dedicated time to volunteering for AC 100, Western States 100, and Moab 240. I paced my friend Izzy, ran R3 with one of my best friends (Team Wolfpax +1, BABY), and camped with my soul sister and our dogs. I saw multiple sunsets from Mount Baldy with a Chingona and coached some fantastic women.

Finally, I spent my Christmas quietly at home with those who mean the most. Time is a precious gift, and now I finally understand, as my dearest friend Vima says, "Today is my favorite day.”

With that being said, I bring this baby to a close. Besides, I know you've been reading this from the comfort of your toilet. And getting up will probably sting (a little).

I wish you and your family a happy and healthy 2023; I hope it’s filled with lots of adventure and cowbell!

As always,

I am ringing my cowbell for you! Happy Trails!

Quote of the Week:

“I hope you realize that every day is a fresh start for you. That every sunrise is a new chapter in your life waiting to be written.” —Juansen Dizon, poet

Song of the Week: Caleb Hawley, My Best!

Side Note:

Please let me know if you have any questions or if there is a topic you want me to cover in more depth, let me know; I am happy to help. As I continue to write blogs, I want to add more value to you (the reader), whether it's sharing my stories/experiences, gear, training tips, etc.

I'm here for you!

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